Megírták a legütősebb “mesét” Magyarországról – megéri elolvasni!

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Sokféle fiktív történet született már hazánkról, de az Európa Blokk most megírta az egyik legigazabb mesét, amit olvashatunk saját magunkról. Változtatás nélkül közöljük:

“Történt egyszer, hogy – jelenleg még – az Urálon innen, egy nagy kerítéssel körülölelt kicsi ország minielnök-királya nem engedte meg nagybajuszos államfőjének, hogy szolgálati ideje leteltével – a minden szempontból kiérdemelt életjáradékkal, meg az ezzel járó ingó és ingatlan vagyonnal – nyugdíjba vonuljon, amit már igen régóta várt és bizony meg is érdemelt. Okát egyelőre nem tudatta a király, csak parancsba adta újraválasztását…

A búsképű bajuszos újra hadba állásának első nagyon szar feladata – a világhírű és elismert oktatási intézmény megsorosozásával egyetértve, annak törvénybe foglalt papirosának a tuggyukkinek akaratából történt sajátkezű aláírása – okán, a szar a bajuszára ragadt!

Aláírta, pedig szemefénye kislánya, Orsika, miután Brüsszelben elvégezte a középiskolát nem tért vissza jól teljesítő hazájába édesapja megmosolyogtatására, hanem egy, a Nagy-Óceánon túli, sok kis országból egyesült hatalmas országban alapított Főtanoda Brexit-be kihelyezett iskoláját választotta (évi 3 millió 357 ezer forintért) a tovább okosodásra. Pedig ez az iskola ugyanolyan rendszerben működik, mint az, amelyiknek lefejezésébe édesapja éppen az aláírásával járult hozzá… Volt is nagy sírás-rívás a skype-on, hogy most mit fognak mondani a népek édesapám… És a válasz a néptől nem váratott magára túlontúl sokáig… „Elvesztette az elnök jellegét!” „Bajszos szar!”

Hiába figyelmeztették jóakaratú emberek Házon kívül és Házon belül… ő csak ment a saját (ura, parancsolója)feje után, letette arany pecabotját, pedig az aranyhal már majdnem ráakadt, felvette az aranytollát, és megtette! A Házon belüli figyelmeztetők megbüntetése a másik bajszostól, a tahó házmestertől, nem is maradt el:

Érdekes… Árpi Bácsit nem sértette a keresztnevén szólítás, meg a tegeződés… (de jó is lenne, ha csak ennyi különbség volna!) /Illés G./

A Házon kívüliek egyelőre még szabadon kószálhatnak az utcákon (kivéve a kicsi ország fővárosában a Bajza utcát és a Lendvayt), mutogatva tábláikat, kántálva friss keletű jelszavaikat és énekeiket, mert ők okosak, intelligensek, békések, bulizósan jókedvűek, frissek… ők azok, akik magasan felülemelkednek a kormány közönségességének színvonalán, akik a kormányhoz kapaszkodókat minden téren kenterbe verik!

Na de kanyarodjunk csak vissza a szomorúképű bajszos sz..hoz:

Hogy hogy nem, szárnyra kapott a hír, hogy nem átall ellátogatni egy iskolába, és két órán keresztül jóra, szépre, nemzetire oktatni az ott tanulókat és tanítókat…

Azért az egy örömteli eseménynek számít, hogy vannak még megbízható aktivisták, akik biztosítják a Magasrangú Kéretlen Vendég számára kijáró megfelelő fogadtatást!… Ezek a mai fiatalok!… Naháááát…

Felvette büdös, Magyarország halszagú csizmáját, reszkető kezét pecabotja szorításával titkolva, vastagra növesztett arcbőrrel (lehet, hogy ezért nem tud nevetni? túl vastag lett?) hátsó ajtókon – mint parancsolója, aki kínosan rázós helyzetekben inkább az alagutakat választja – elkülönített szobában, okos, fogékony tinédzserek előtt megteszi, amit előírt neki a soros. Óh! Pardon: a sorosgyűlölő sors!…

Volt szó a jól teljesítő gazdaságról, a napenergia fontosságáról (alkalmazásának gyors elterjedését emelt szintű büntető adóval segítve), és még sok minden másról… aztán meg kapott kérdéseket is, nagyon jókat! Az egyik például természetkedvelő és védő mivoltához is szólt: mit gondol arról a környezetszennyező és pazarló nemzeti konzultációról, amit az a rengeteg (van, aki duplán is kap belőle) fényeslevél okoz? Hát mit mondjak? Káderünk nem sokat gondolt azon kívül, hogy a végeredmény igen hasznos… ezt nem nagyon értették az okos gyerekek, mert hát az ilyen fényes, kemény papír ugyan már milyen végeredménynél lehet hasznos?…

És ezek a kitüntetett diákok vették a bátorságot, és meg merték kérdezni, miért írta alá az a bizonyos papírt, amitől barna lett a bajsza… És ekkor jött a mindent elsöprő narancsszínű köd, mely beborította önmagát, a hallgatóságát, a kamerát – melyen keresztül a kíváncsi pórnép nyomon követhette a kábítást -, de még a kukkolókat is beterítette a lemosható narancsszín az éteren át… Édes narancs volt minden szava, mellyel ura akaratát enyhíteni szándékolta, narancsból volt a sóhaja, mikor – fb trollok által – a kislányát ért méltatlan zaklatásokról szólt… akár meg is ihatta volna a hallgatóság, ezt az édes nedüt, de szerencsére nem jutottak hozzá, mert még időben kiborult a nagy menekülés közben… Pedig a kérdések csak jöttek és jöttek, neki pedig lejárt az ideje…

És futott és futott hetedhét folyosón és kiskapun át, míg el nem ért a gazdájához, aki előtt remegve térdelt le, majd imára kulcsolt kézzel kérdezve a mindenhatót:

Jó voltam, édes gazdám?

A mesének vége, ébresztő gyerekek!”

75 Comments

  1. Merről fúj a szél? A szakember válaszol

    Szilaj Pista bácsi, 80 éves. Rideg marha pásztor a Hortobágyon. Az igazi szürke marhák nagy tisztelője! Akiknek szarvuk van, nem könyökvédőjük! Sose voltak fedél alatt se, nehogy hivatalba! Az öregúr legfőbb ruhadarabja a kilenc birkabőriből való subája! Ez az ágya, takarója, árnyékvetője! Hozzá faggyúban áztatott bő gatyája, (víz is lepereg róla, mint politikusról a kritika! Kostök dohányzacskója, vadrózsa nyélbűl pipája, amilyet városi ember sohase pipált!
    — Pista Bátyám, maga azt is tudja, merrűl fúj a szél? Kérdezem az ő szavajárása szerint, hogy bizalmába férkőzzek,
    —Tudom hát!
    — Osztán mibűl?
    — Szagából, idejéből, szándékából!
    — Most milyen szaga van?
    — Hát erőst hazugságszagú! Meg bolond lyukból fúj!
    — Ezt miből tudja?
    — Hát, ha okos vóna, nem hazudna! Úgy se tudja beváltani!
    — Mán mér?
    — Mer nincs vége, a télnek se, oszt aratásról álmodnak!
    — Hát ide figyelj! A kummunista szél hideget fúj Jújj-jújj, minden rossz! A kapitalista: eljött megint az én időm arról fúj! A papoké, mint a béka! Urrak a papok! A hungarista meg penészes szálastakarmány szagú! Érted má?
    — Csodálom az eszit bátyám!
    — Hát erre rá nem jössz a városba, dízelkormos levegőbe, betonodú mókuskám!
    — A marhák érzik még a telet?
    — Érzik hát! Pedig reumájuk sincs, mint nekem!
    — Az év, milyen lesz?
    — Hát kiderül az idő, mint a hazugság! Meleg lesz a levegő az indulattúl, elégedetlenségtűl! De aztán csak eltűrik, mint az én marháim! Legfeljebb más legelőt keresnek! Marha bölcsesség, ha nem tudsz változtatni, bele kell törődni! A marha meg nem tud! Változtatáshoz ember kéne! Nem ígérgető hazug, hanem aki ért hozzá, tudja mit, miér csinál!
    2014-02-18

  2. Abszurd mese

    Hol volt, hol nem volt az állami vagyon. A moszkvai világbirodalmon túl, az átláthatatlan privatizációs üveghegyen innen, a nagy varázslók korában eltűntek a gyárak, üzemek, kastélyok, földek, erdők az állami tulajdonból.
    Az elvarázsolt ország, nevesincs királysága (nem király a neve, de a királynál is nagyobb a hatalma) kedvenc, sőt kegyenc miniszterére bízta az állami birtok (f)osztogatását. Kopasztották is az államot, mint Márta asszony a vasárnapi húslevesbe való tyúkot, forró víz nélkül.
    Rózsa Sándor és a világ valamennyi, valaha volt útonállója szájtátva bámul ránk, hogy ez lehetséges? Elvenni a vagyont azzal, hogy az Államé, mindnyájunké, kicsit pihentetni, aztán magamévá tenni aprópénzért, mint az olcsó utcalányt. Mindezt a jog, és az állam palástja alatt.
    Az útonállás magánvállalkozásban soha nem lenne ennyire „hatékony”. És mindezt a magánvállalkozás elsődlegessége jelszavával! A lényeg: mindent jól összezavarni, akkor lehet igazán sikeresen a zavarosban halászni!
    Az ostoba becsületesnek meg: „száraz tónak nedves partján, döglött béka kuruttyol!”

    Megjelent a Magyar Fórumban „Nem mese ez gyermek címmel” 1995.

  3. Nem szeretnék senkit megsérteni de azért tegyük hozzá hogy ez a nem mese a rendszerváltásnak nevezett valami óta tart kb: 27-éve …

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